Coping with Aging Parents while Living in the City . . .
I was living in New York City! I had no kids, a great job, and amazing night life was steps away. Theatres, posh lounges and fabulous restaurants were considered my playground. What more could a young adult want? I felt like I was in an episode of “Sex and the City” and nothing could stop me!
To my surprise, reality was about to hit me smack dab in my face. My father was diagnosed with Cancer and my grandparent’s health was beginning to deteriorate. The dynamics of my family life was changing and I was NOT prepared!!!
Several young professionals have asked me how to help their aging parents in the midst of their active lives.
Caring for your Baby Boomer Parents and/or Aging Grand Parents in the midst of your career or new family can be challenging. Although we might feel that it is our moral obligation to help our parents in their time of need; it is not always possible to fully assist them.
I have created a 10 step checkli
st for young adults to assist their aging parents:
1. Have a plan- Many young adults fail to realize that their parents or loved ones are getting older. Planning is essential in ensuring that the aging process goes smoothly.
2. Reassure your parents- Your parents should know that you can be depended upon to help them get through challenging times. Let your parents know that you are supporting them.
3. Education is essential- You and your parents should become subject matter experts about their changing conditions. Some of the items include; legal matters, financial details, healthcare and supportive resources, housing arrangements and general knowledge on aging.
4. Assess your parent’s problems and needs- Consult with a geriatric specialist, physician, nurse or social worker to gain a better understanding of your parents needs. Issues regarding finances should be consulted by lawyers or financial advisors.
5. Respect your parent’s boundaries- Let your parents make their own decisions when possible. Ones illness and/or lack of financial resources often lead children to limit their parent’s autonomy.
6. Balance the work load- Emotional and physical responsibilities should be shared among family, friends and/or the home care agency (www.GoldenValleyHomeCare.com)
7. Be creative- Work with friends and family to help aging parents and loved ones remain their identity. Mind stimulating activities and assisting loved ones with continued interests is helpful.
8. Minimize changes- Do not be overwhelmed by the complete care that may be necessary in the future when partial assistance may be all that is currently required.
9. Be open to compromise- If your parents are capable of realistically taking some risks, do so by being open to a compromise solution.
10. Seek counseling- When relationships with elderly parents or loved ones become overwhelming, obtain professional counseling.
Social Security . . . ON LIFE SUPPORT!!!!
Today, I informed my father that he was not an actual baby boomer. Alright . . . alright. . . I wasn’t trying to be a “kill joy” but I was just telling him the truth. Baby boomers are those born between 1946 and 1964. My father was born in 1942, making him 4 years shy of holding the baby boomer title.
Since many baby boomers will turn 62 this year and become eligible to claim retirement benefits, I thought the discussion of Social Security or should I say. . . The lack of Social Security discussion would be appropriate. We will be using my father (the honorary “baby boomer” member) as an example throughout this blog series to demonstrate some of the issues with Social Security.
Throughout the past year, the Obama administration noted that Social Security had deteriorated in part because of the recession. They also noted that there is a possibility that the Social Security trust fund may be exhausted in the near future should the economy stay the same.
Will the amount of Social Security allotted in the federal budget be enough to care for these baby boomers kicking and screaming through middle age? I think NOT!
In the case of many California Educators that receive Social Security (like my father). Social Security currently curtails the benefit amount that they provide to State employees. The Social Security benefit that many State and unionized employees receive is often reduced because the member is receiving a retirement benefit from their union.
I am not going to agree or disagree with this federal law. However, I just wanted to put this information out and ask your guys opinion on what you think about this. Do you feel that State employee’s Social Security benefits should be curtailed based on the fact that they might be receiving benefits from their union? Do you believe that this is a solution in fixing our draining Social Security system?
Leave your comments in the section below. I am curious to hear what you guys think. I will reply back in another blog with my thoughts on your comments.
Timothy Guess-The man behind this “Finance & Baby Boomer” blog . . .
Timothy Guess is from San Jose, California covering senior, elder and financial issues. Guess is also Founder and Managing Director of a Silicon Valley and Bay Area based home care agency, Golden Valley Home Care.
Previously, Guess has worked in Wall Street as a Financial and Operational Regulator for such firms as the New York Stock Exchange and Bank of America covering issues from insider trading to market manipulation. Guess left the Big Apple when he experienced difficulty caring for his parents and grandparents in Oakland, California; he found himself repeatedly travelling to the West Coast to assist them.
Guess graduated from Morehouse College in Atlanta, Georgia with a degree in Finance. He is a Certified Administrator-certified by the Residential-Elderly Administrator Certification Program & State of California Department of Social Services. He has also obtained a Nursing Assistant Certification while caring for his late grandfather.
Guess has dedicated himself to informing people on issues surrounding seniors, elders & financial issues. More importantly, since Guess experienced many of his family care challenges as a young adult, he is able to identify and assist others as well as young adults who are often caring for their Baby Boomer parents or grand-parents.
Guess currently tutors youth at the Village of the Four Seasons Mobile Park in San Jose. He enjoys working in his community and has mentored youth at such organizations as the Boys & Girls Club of Silicon Valley. Timothy is also a fitness buff and enjoys working out in the gym.
For more information about Golden Valley Home Care, visit us at www.GoldenValleyHomeCare.com
